i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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