Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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