I cockslap morals
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
