Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
