She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
