i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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