I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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