Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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