My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
