I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize