Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
