I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize