omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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