I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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