There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize