I looked at my own cervix.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
