What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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