Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
