Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
