if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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