Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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