capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize