Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize