Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
