That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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