You can't special order awesome
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize