I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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