i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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