I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
