I smell stomach acid.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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