so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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