Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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