VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize