The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We have started to decorate penises.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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