I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
