yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
