Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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