Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
