He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
