I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
