i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
