I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
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