One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
