In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
