Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
