Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
