My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
