Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
