I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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