someone threw a dead crab at me
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize