it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
