i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
tell me about the eggs
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
