It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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