Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
