We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
