mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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