you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just pynch a tree in the face
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
