I hate all girls vehemently.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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