When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
