I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize