Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
