she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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