they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
