Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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