1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
